Monday, October 15, 2007

Writing #1

Ellis Orozco
Bill Clyde’s Unfaithful Wife
Bill Clyde is your average American. He’s got a nice life being retired, spending more time with his wife and younger kids, while being able to travel where he wants. He was on one off his annual trips across the U.S and this year he decided to go to New York just because he had never been there before. He was having a great time (on the flight over), and then he received the call. His wife said that she had been having an affair with this younger man. Bill asked how long this “affair” had been going on, and she told him they got together every time Bill went on one of his yearly trips. Bill was so livid he wanted to just yell but, since he was on the subway he controlled himself and tried as hard as he could to not let the anger show on his face. He tried to force a smile to some of the people sharing the subway with him but, it didn’t work. When he finally got off the subway he caught sight of a flash from a camera. He walked on and tried to get over the fact that his wife had been cheating on him for so many long years. Bill walked and as he reached the exit, he stopped, looked back, and realized that his yearly trips were changed forever. He pursed his lips appreciating the irony that under his arm he carried gifts for his kids and unfaithful wife.

2 comments:

vareohkneeka-aireeeyell said...

Nice story. It was short, but informative. I also liked your use of irony at the end with the "present for his unfaithful wife." Good job :D

קּậזּקּ Řậזּקּ said...

Elis you need a clincher and paragraphs.
If have one big paragraph then the reader thinks it's a lot of reading.
Split it up.